ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
