So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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