And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just gift wrapped bread.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
