Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am naked and annoyed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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