we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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