They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
