this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
