its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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