then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
