Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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