well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
