That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
