I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
