just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
