So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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