in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
