some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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