My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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