I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
