At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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