so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
