I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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