I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
