I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
