Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
