what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
