Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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