I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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