Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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