I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
