Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What a dumb baby whore.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think i got beer on your cat.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
