he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
