We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
