that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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