Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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