roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
