is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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