dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
