we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
