More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
