brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
