i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
