Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
