I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
