Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's just like the Real World with babies
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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