Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
