Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
