Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
