How'd it feel making her break her religion?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
