Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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