i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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