I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
