he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
